


Before We Go Blind

by smug_rabbit



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smug_rabbit/pseuds/smug_rabbit
Summary: All it took was one meltdown in a hospital to upend Chie's vision of Yosuke. Contains spoilers until January 4.





	1. Fissure

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers until January 4.

As the Investigation Team gathered around their leader who was lying unconscious in the Dojimas' living room, Yosuke realised for the first time that Yu was human as the rest of them.

‘He’ll get better soon, right?’

Yukiko placed the back of her hand on the unconscious Yu’s forehead. ‘I’m sure. He’s likely been overworked for the last few weeks. And the weather’s been freezing. I don’t think there’s much we can do except wait for him to recover. In the meantime, why don’t we take turns visiting him until he gets better?’

‘We should do it in pairs,’ Naoto suggested, which Yosuke found acceptable. He wouldn't turn down a chance to be alone with one of the girls.

‘Hey, Chie, how about-’

Before Yosuke could finish, Chie flinched and wrapped her arms around one of Yukiko’s. ‘I call dibs on Yukiko. We’ll visit Yu first.’

Yosuke let his hand falter, deflated. She’d normally snap at him about being a pervert, but she wasn’t even looking at him; her eyes were fixated on Yu’s sleeping face. He leaned towards her across Yu’s body, and she leaned back without moving her eyes off Yu for a second.

What was her problem?

Thinking on it, Chie had been acting weird for a few days now. She hadn’t returned Yosuke's calls or talked to him on the few occasions he’d seen her around Inaba, when she was usually accompanied by one of the other members. It hadn't bothered him up until a few days ago, when he was taking a stroll around the old shopping district. He’d seen her across the road as he was ordering takoyaki and called out to her, only to see her shoot him a brief glance before fleeing into Tatsuhime Shrine, a place she never had cause to visit before.

‘And that leaves Teddie with Yosuke!’            

By the time Yosuke was yanked back to reality, the others had figured out a schedule to visit Yu daily – and more jarringly – partnered him with Teddie. Rise refused to pair with anyone, since she insisted on visiting Yu every day, alone. After finalising to a schedule, the group split up to run their daily errands. Yosuke was disappointed that he hadn’t the chance to nab Rise or Yukiko as his partner, and he grumbled all the way back to work at Junes, Teddie in tow.

Once he reached the giant department store, Yosuke made his way to his dad’s office to get changed. The old man should be on the shopping floor by now, leaving the office empty for him to change into his work outfit. But as he put his hand on the doorknob, he heard a crash on the other side of the door, followed by the muffled shouting of his dad. Curious, he pressed his ear to the door to hear his dad giving one of his customary dressing-downs to a poor co-worker.

‘This is yogurt! It goes in the dairy section’s fridge! This is ice cream! It goes in the freezer! The whole stock’s gotta be thrown out now.’

‘Sorry b-boss.’

‘I don’t want sorry! I want someone to take responsibility.’

‘I think it w-was Yosuke-kun who unloaded it last night.’

Yosuke stopped in his tracks. He was in charge of unloading the stock on Mondays, so if there was any mistake, the buck stopped with him. It didn’t stop him cursing the co-worker who’d ratted him out, however, and he made a mental note to get back at the other guy later. ‘Hey, Ted. I’m gonna go back to Yu’s place to drop off some stuff. Mind telling Dad I'll be a bit late?’

Without waiting for an answer, Yosuke slipped away to the grocery section, Teddie’s protests echoing behind him. In the store, Yosuke plucked food off the shelf, not taking the time to check what they were, and stuffed them into a couple of plastic bags. All the while, he congratulated himself on his ability to avoid his dad’s wrath. Of course, his father would be angry, but a few hours for him to cool down wouldn’t hurt Yosuke’s chances of retaining today’s paycheque.

He’d almost filled two whole bags when his silent gloating was interrupted by Teddie’s disembodied shout of “Yosuke-kun!” along with his dad’s “Where’s that kid?!” Terrified, Yosuke dashed towards the exit, setting off the store alarm in the process. That earned some disapproving glances from the other customers. As he approached the building's exit, he waved at the sliding door sensors, cursing their unresponsiveness. Mercifully, the doors crawled open, allowing Yosuke to dash out into the cool winter air. He didn’t slow down until he was back at the Dojimas' house, prying open the unlocked door with shaking fingers and glancing behind him every few moments.

Once inside, he dumped the bags in front of the fridge and gave a quick peek at what he’d managed to snatch. Vegetables, eggs, milk, and a baguette. He looked inside the living room, where Yu was still unconscious in front of the TV, a sports bag near his head. Neither Dojima appeared to be home.

‘Thanks for saving me again, partner,’ he said, uncertain if Yu was awake. ‘Don’t worry about the cost of the veggies. At least I have an excuse to be late for work. Ha.’

No sooner had he closed the fridge door, he heard the soft grinding of the front door’s wheels and someone’s soft footfall near the entrance of the house.

No way.

Was Teddie following him? Had Adachi escaped? Or was Nanako out of the hospital already? His mind ran with the explanations he’d have to give if it was the elder Dojima. Friends or no, Ryotaro might be suspicious at Yosuke's alone and unannounced presence, even if the front door was unlocked. He readied a fighting stance, fists up, legs spread, just in case Ryotaro turned out to be a shoot-first kind of cop.

The visitor stepped into view, and jumped backwards with a squeak.

‘Chie?’

‘Yosuke!’

‘You scared me. I thought you were a burglar or something.’

‘Oh, I scared you,’ she snapped back. ‘Why the hell are you here, anyway? You’re not supposed to visit Yu until tomorrow.’

Yosuke nudged the bags of food with his foot. ‘I can deliver food to my sick friends whenever I want. What the hell’s your problem, huh? Visiting Yu alone?’

He regretted the words as soon as he said them. Chie spat, and stomped over to Yu, snatching up the sports bag next to Yu’s head. As Chie passed by the stunned Yosuke, he mumbled an apology.

‘Sorry.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Wanna hang out for a little bit? Like go for a walk along the river?’

The tracks on the sliding door screeched as it was yanked open, the noise echoing throughout the house. ‘Not now.’

‘When are you free? We’ve barely talked since the case.’

The door slammed shut with a crash, and he heard her quick footsteps disappear into the snow.

Yosuke shrugged nonchalantly as if anyone could see him, but his head felt like every pore was sweating. There was no longer any doubt that she was upset at him. Over what, he had no idea. Still, help for that problem was readily available even in a dead-end town like Inaba. The trick would be to convince the detective.


	2. Learning to Jog

Obscured by her hoodie, Chie’s eyes ran the height of Naoto’s apartment complex, a concrete flower in a meadow of stunted two-storey brick buildings. In the few months she’d known Naoto, Chie never asked to visit. She’d never needed to, until tonight. Now, she was glad for the distance between herself and the detective. There was nobody else she could turn to on this matter considering that Yu was laid up in bed with a crippling fever. But the person who knew her the least in their team might be of help. Chie needed that distance, someone who knew her well enough to listen, but not enough to condemn her.

Chie jabbed at the intercom with a shaking finger. To calm her nerves, she pressed it a few more times, but her hand slipped and she jabbed the speakers’ metal edges instead. Even through her gloves, it still hurt.

‘Ow.’

‘Room?’ asked the receptionist’s bored voice over the tinny speaker.

Chie peered at the numbers on her palm. ‘213, please.’

The intercom clicked over to Naoto’s room.

‘Naoto-kun? It’s me.’

‘Satonaka-senpai? Oh! Um, you’re earlier than I thought-’

‘Yeah, well, I wanted to get here as soon as possible.’

‘I understand, it’s just my room’s a bit messy. Um, can you give me a minute to clean up?’

‘I’m freezing to death out here!’

‘Right. Please just, uh - give me a minute.’

A minute turned out to be five, each progressively longer as the cold ate into Satonaka’s body. She was beginning to regret coming when Naoto appeared on the other side of the glass door, bleary-eyed as Chie was. The sight tempered her mood a little.

‘Rough night, huh? I didn’t sleep much either,’ Chie asked. Naoto smiled as she ushered her visitor into the building.

‘I don’t blame you. You never forget your first closed case, no matter how mundane it is. My first was a minor burglary, yet it must’ve been three days before I finally got a full night’s sleep. All I could think of was whether my deductions were wrong, or if the police had arrested the right culprit. Considering what we went through on this one, I imagine you’ve been feeling a little nervous.’

‘Actually, I’m not here about the case.’

Chie looked behind her, as if anybody would be listening in on them at this time of the morning during the holiday season. The room was empty, save for the receptionist who was slumped over the desk, eyes closed.

‘It’s about Yosuke.’

Naoto’s face darkened.

‘Let’s finish this upstairs.’

 

* * *

 

Naoto hadn’t finished cleaning her apartment in time. Paper was scattered across a round dining table, and spilling onto the floor. Reams of them even competed with a cactus for space inside a flowerpot on the kitchen counter. Naoto’s laptop was barely visible amidst the reams.

‘I was doing my work when you arrived, so please excuse the mess.’

Chie prodded the mass of paper atop the dining table. ‘And I thought I was messy! Geez, Naoto.’

She re-ordered the paper on Naoto’s table in an attempt to be helpful, but her host shooed her off, grabbing a fistful of paper and stuffing them underneath another pile. A corner of the sheet was poking out.

‘What’s wrong, Chie-senpai?’

Chie tore her eyes from the mess to face Naoto’s inquisitive ones.

‘Uh, well…’

Now that she was in Naoto’s room, the courage she’d spent the night working up was gone. Maybe she was paranoid. She’d convinced herself that she was doing the right thing, but now she was beginning to have second thoughts. It seemed unfair to doubt Yosuke, considering how much he’d done for the team over the year, and how hard he’d fought to defeat Shadow Chie in Yukiko’s Castle. He had been at the forefront of battle, right from the very beginning when they’d blundered into Junes’ TV section. But she’d seen his darkness, and she couldn’t sweep it away so easily. At night time, when nobody else was around, her mind would whisper reminders of the madness in Yu’s eyes and the fury in Yosuke’s own over the death of his best friend’s cousin.

‘Naoto-kun…As a detective, do you think Yosuke could kill anyone?’

Naoto sagged into a swivel chair parked next to the dining table. She could deduce what Chie wanted to talk about. ‘Are you referring to when he wanted to throw Namatame into the Midnight Channel because we thought he was the murderer?’ She scratched her head, fingers poking through her peaked blue cap. ‘I’d actually forgotten about it until you brought it up.’

‘I mean, if we hadn’t been there, they might’ve…’ Chie paused. ‘You know. Done it.’

Naoto licked her lips. ‘They were angry. We all were. I wanted to punish someone for Nanako too.’

‘That’s not the point.’ Chie mumbled. She joined Naoto in collapsing into the only other chair in the room. ‘I’m scared to be around him now.’ The tiny detective flinched. Realising she’d gone too far, Chie raised a hand in apology, but Naoto was already speaking.

‘I think Yosuke-senpai would’ve stopped himself. He’s a good person. Take that assessment from an amateur police psychologist, but I think we’ve been around him long enough to know what he’s like.’

‘It still bugs me that I can’t look at him the same! About killing Namatame, it was like, how could Yosuke even think about that? And Yu and Kanji looked like they were considering it. I could tell. If I hadn’t said anything, Yu might’ve gone along.’

‘The last week, I’ve been wondering what life would be like if we really did it. How could we look at each other as friends again? How could I go to school, knowing my classmate’s a murderer?’ Chie shuddered. ‘That scares me more than the idea of Adachi still on the loose, or that rotten fog all over town.’

Naoto raised a placating hand to pat her shoulder. Under her touch, Chie unclenched her fists she hadn’t realised she’d balled up.

‘Don’t beat yourself up over hypotheticals. Nanako-chan is alive, Namatame is recovering in the hospital, and the real killer is behind bars. Whatever happened was a moment of madness on Yosuke-senpai’s part. Talk with him about it. It’s the only way you’ll resolve this issue. Or else you’ll spend the rest of your life afraid of him.’

‘And do it soon. The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be to start that conversation.’

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk about it?’

Naoto looked away. ‘What was it like when you faced your Shadow?’

‘Huh?’

‘I wasn’t a part of your group then, so forgive me. But you went through something similar to me, correct? Tell me what happened.’

Chie didn’t understand where Naoto was going, but she thought about the question anyway. ‘It said all these horrible things about me and how I was jealous of Yukiko’s smarts and popularity with the boys, and her life in general, I guess. I knew the Shadow was right, and I hated it for saying them out loud. So I tried to deny it.’

‘You ran away.’

‘Yeah. That’s when we fought the Shadow and beat it. Afterwards, I accepted that I was jealous of Yukiko, but I swore I wasn’t gonna compare myself to her anymore. I wouldn’t hate myself for being poorer than her or for being less popular with boys. And I wanted to be an honest friend to her too, not someone who hung around her, secretly hoping for her to be miserable.’

‘What about Yosuke-senpai’s Shadow?’

‘I didn’t see him fight his Shadow. But-’ Chie cut herself off, as she considered what happened all those months ago when they were ordinary children in the middle of nowhere. It felt so long ago, and considering everything else that happened in the months after, she barely remembered the life she had before.

It dawned on Chie where Naoto was going with this. Seeing that Chie understood, Naoto pointed her hand towards Chie and smiled, as if that explained everything.

‘Whatever he faced in the TV world, he accepted. He didn’t run away from the truth. I have faith that he won’t run away again, no matter what you tell him. You should too. I know it’ll be tough talking about it, but please don’t define him only by what happened in the hospital. There’s more to him than that. Remember the tough boy who faced the truth about himself. That’s the person you’re trying to convince, not the fearful boy he was before.’

Chie laughed and reached over to pat Naoto’s head. ‘For a junior who didn’t know what a letter in the locker meant a few months ago, you can be kinda wise, Naoto-kun.’

‘Intelligence isn’t as important as self-respect. It was all of you who taught me to accept myself.’

‘I know. I forgot how to be brave too, but coming here made me remember. Guess talking with someone about it is all I needed to do. Thanks.’

Naoto smiled. ‘Friends support each other.’

‘That’s right. And to prove it, I’m going to call Yosuke right now!’

Naoto recoiled, the smile replaced by wide-eyed shock. ‘O-oh. I see. Well, isn’t he at Junes? He m-might ah, be a little busy.’ Her voice sounded a little louder than usual.

Chie tilted her head at Naoto’s reaction. ‘Junes isn’t open until nine, silly.’ She dialled Yosuke’s number, but nobody picked up. Naoto had a coughing fit.

‘Huh. Maybe he’s still asleep.’

Chie yawned. All of the pent-up stress was gone now that she’d decided what to do, and her body clock realised how early it was in the morning. She needed a good run to wake herself back up. ‘Gosh, why is he sleeping when I’m awake! I’ll kick down his freakin’ door if he won’t answer his damn phone!’ She began stretching her arms to limber up for the next bit of exercise, which was to be a full sprint all the way to Yosuke’s house. It was a few kilometres of running, but she felt energised enough to know she could do it.

‘Mind if I use the toilet before I go?’

Naoto was more on edge than ever. Her eyes were bulging in fear. ‘There’s one downstairs. I have an ensuite, but…’ Naoto’s voice petered out and her eyes flickered to her closed bedroom door.

Following Naoto’s gaze, Chie laughed. ‘There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Naoto. We’re all girls here.’

‘It’s not that!’ Naoto squeezed her eyes shut. ‘Please don’t go in. It’ll be really, ah, embarrassing!’

‘No problem, I understand.’

Naoto laughed, but it was a nervous one. Chie wanted to ask what was wrong, but she thought better of it. With a final wave, Chie bounded out the apartment and down the stairwell, five steps at a time.

Once she was certain Chie was gone, Naoto closed her apartment door. From her bedroom, Yosuke poked his head out.

‘Damn it.’


	3. Stretching Arms, Pulling Muscles

Naoto was clutching her chest as Chie’s footsteps disappeared. She lifted her hat off, letting the beads of sweat trickle down her temples. ‘I’m having heart palpitations, Yosuke-senpai.’

Yosuke stepped out from Naoto’s bedroom and scampered over to slide the bolt on her front door. ‘How was I supposed to know Chie wanted to come over the same time I did?’ he muttered, peering through the peephole.

‘You could’ve called me before coming over. Like Chie-senpai did, so that you wouldn’t run into each other on the way here.’

‘Ugh, whatever. I can’t plan that far ahead! I’m a busy man. Not to take away from your work or anything, which I’m sure is important,’ he added upon seeing her raised eyebrow.

As his eyes wandered to the reams of paper on Naoto’s dining table-cum-desk, familiar kanji caught Yosuke’s attention. It was from the page she’d stuffed into the pile when Chie came in. Even with Naoto’s shorthand scrawl, he could make out his own name. The rest of the document was buried under the paper stack, but Yosuke had seen enough to realise what Naoto was doing.

‘Better leave you to finish the reports, huh?’

He didn’t Naoto’s slight jump. ‘Sure.’

‘Those profiles of us, I mean. Are you doing that those on all of us or just me?’

Naoto blinked and made to grab the pile of paper, but thought better of it.

‘It’s part of my job. A detective’s habit.’

Yosuke groaned in disbelief.

‘The report is just a profile on you from when I was still considering your group as suspects in the Inaba murders. It has nothing to do with the hospital or Namatame. If you must know, I’ve been updating them with details of your personalities and key events that we’ve spent together. I think it’ll help me understand you all better.’ She yanked it out of the pile, but only succeeded in tearing off the corner of the page. Blushing, she lifted the pile to grab the rest of the report and held it out to him. ‘You can look at it if you want.’

Yosuke was tempted to have a glance, but the rays of morning sunlight were beaming through the window, reminding him what time it was. He looked at his watch. Fifteen minutes to nine. ‘Don’t worry, Naoto. I believe you. Besides, I need to get to Junes before it opens or Dad’s gonna yell at me again. He’s already gonna have it out with me over the expired milk, I know it.’

Naoto shrugged and put the paper back on her desk again. Yosuke walked over to the waste basket and collected his shoes he’d hidden away from Chie’s sight, right before she entered the apartment.

‘You know, I thought Chie would’ve forgotten. If I could take one thing in the world back…’ He yanked particularly hard on his laces in frustration as he tied the knots. ‘I’m such an idiot.’

‘Of course everyone else was going to notice. I know we were upset when you heard Nanako-chan was dead, but it was quite scary to hear you openly advocate for murder. That snapped the rest of us back to our senses.’

‘I know, I know, I screwed up.’ He got to his feet. ‘But I’ll make things right. They’ll hear it from me that I know I screwed up. Yu, Kanji, Chie, Yukiko, you, and Rise. Even Teddie.’

Naoto smiled. ‘Please resolve this before the ski trip.’

‘That’s only happening assuming Yu recovers before the winter break ends.’

Naoto’s wan smile morphed into a bad-cop glare Yosuke didn’t even know she had. He raised his hands in surrender.

‘I’ll talk to the others even if Yu doesn’t get better in time! I swear.’ Gathering the rest of his courage, Yosuke winked and gave a small salute with his index finger. ‘And about that favour I was gonna ask of you…I guess I won’t need it.’

‘I couldn’t spy on our mutual friends anyway. Sorry, Yosuke-senpai.’

'How did you guess I was here to ask that?'

'Elementary detective work. Why else would you hide from Chie-senpai?'

Yosuke grimaced, but he relented with a slap on his thigh. ‘Fourth in line of legendary the Shirogane family. Shouldn't be surprised.'

'Fifth generation.'

'Well, I'd say this trip was worth it,' he continued, steamrolling through to hide his embarrassed blush. 'I found out that Chie wants to talk with me about Namatame. That’s more than I deserve. And more than I expected when I came here. So…thanks again. And thanks for keeping quiet about me when I was hiding.’

‘It’d be more troublesome for me if Chie found out you were here. Trust is a detective’s greatest asset.’

Yosuke nodded in response. With one last peek through the peephole to make sure Chie was really gone, he opened the door and slipped outside. He was already behind the door when Naoto called out. ‘Yosuke-senpai!’

The door stopped moving. It was slightly ajar, but Yosuke didn’t come back inside.

‘Everything I said to Chie about you…I meant all of it. You’re brave, and I appreciate having you on my team.’

Yosuke’s disembodied voice floated back. ‘I know. You’re my friend before you’re a detective.’

The door completed its journey with a click.

 

* * *

 

Alone in the elevator, Yosuke danced a little jig, wriggling his hips. As soon as the doors parted, he sprung out between them a little too enthusiastically, and his wallet tumbled to the floor.

He picked it off the ground. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw a door open, and a familiar pair of legs step out.

‘Yosuke?’

He turned, slowly, towards the door down the hallway. The entrance to the women’s bathroom, to be exact.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.

‘I was seeing – I was about to visit Naoto.’

‘The elevator doors are closing behind you.’

Yosuke’s heart dropped.

‘Naoto-kun…how could you?’ Chie clenched her fists. She looked so hurt that he wanted to run over to her.

Yosuke raised his hands. ‘Don’t blame her. She didn’t plan for us to be here at the same time. Besides, she wants to help.’

Chie didn’t acknowledge his pleading. ‘She thought about killing him too, right? Of course she’d take your side…’

Her attitude pissed him off. Naoto hadn’t even planned to meet him. This was his fault, not Naoto’s. Besides, he’d just heard Chie say she was ready to talk to him, so why was she so frigid?

‘Anything else you want to say?’ he snapped.

No sooner had he said the words, he regretted them. But it was too late. Chie scowled, her face red.

‘Not to you, jerk!’ She dashed past Yosuke, fists balled. As she passed him, she stomped on his foot, and he hissed. It hurt, but he knew he deserved that, even as he hopped after her.

‘Chie, wait!’

His hobbling wasn’t fast enough to catch her sprint out of the lobby. Once again, he watched her run out the doorway into the snow. The receptionist, awoken from her morning nap, peered around the corner of the wall.

‘Smooth.’

 

* * *

 

Hours of toil at Junes and the incident at the elevator whittled away Yosuke’s resolve after his euphoric high. That his dad had finally caught up with him about the misplaced dairy products and subjected Yosuke to a tongue-lashing hadn’t helped. By the time his shift was over, Yosuke’s courage had fully deserted him. He wandered in the direction of Chie’s house before giving up halfway, and he slouched back to his darkened room, aimlessly pressing his phone keypad in hope that Chie would text him.

Hours later, his phone buzzed. In excitement, he fumbled the phone and dropped it onto the floor. There was a text.

From Naoto.

“TXT CHIE-SENPAI YET? Y/N PLZ RESPOND”

Yosuke sighed. He didn’t even have the strength to pick up his phone, or the heart to tell her what happened.

‘Sorry,’ he said to the walls. He knew now that wasn’t going to get it done before the ski trip.

He thought about calling Yu, but Yosuke didn’t want to mention the incident in the hospital around Yu, even after he woke up. Too closely related to Nanako.

Maybe he should wait until Chie called him.

He crouched in the corner of the room, still staring at his phone on the floor. He waited all night, but nothing. Maybe there was still a chance that she’d call him today. She promised. He hadn’t misheard that, he swore it.


	4. Expansion Joint

Yosuke hadn’t responded to her text. That was all the answer Naoto needed. She considered going to his house, but if he wasn’t answering his phone, he wasn’t answering his door either. She sent a text to Chie, but received no response either. With a shrug, she dropped her phone into her jacket and walked back inside the foyer of apartment building. The ever-bored receptionist winked at her as she walked by.

‘Love triangles sure are messy, Shirogane-san,’ she cackled.

‘Hm?’

The receptionist jerked her head towards the door.

‘The kids this morning. The one with the green jacket and the kid in the Junes apron. They were arguing. Something to do with you.’

Naoto’s ears rang with a high-pitched screech as she dashed back to her room. Once inside, she crawled into her kotatsu and crouched there, stunned. She’d failed.

The next hour was spent in the comfort of her kotatsu, aimlessly flicking the sheet she’d offered to Yosuke earlier in a bluff. It was her psych report of him.

Below was the header was all her observations about him from the day they’d met until the case was closed. She wasn’t lying; it helped to have notes on people to help her interact with them. But that wasn’t why she’d had this particular file out on her table. Near the bottom of the page, under “Dec 5” she’d written:

_Advocated pushing Namatame into Midnight Channel. Further observation needed???_

Her finger tickled the corner of the page she’d torn off by accident earlier.

‘A friend, huh?’

 

* * *

 

Days went by. Yu got better, and in days, he was back on his feet as if nothing happened. Naoto couldn’t stay relaxed, though. All her increasingly panicked apologia via text message to Chie went ignored. Her phone calls went straight to voicemail. She’d been blocked. Yosuke wasn’t responding either.

The one small mercy was the ski trip, primarily arranged by Yosuke through group emails. It presented her with an opportunity; a way to meet Yosuke and Chie face-to-face. What Naoto would do after meeting them, she had no idea. She wracked her mind, and found nothing.

So she did nothing but wait for Yosuke to finish planning the ski trip. Naoto hated her own impotence, but what other options did she have? All her imagined scenarios and attempts at reconciling her friends ended the same way. Chie and Yosuke and Teddie crying, Yu awkwardly trying to comfort them, Yu ashamed of his failure, Yu leaving for the city with a ruined friendship group in his wake, Yu not calling his friends to meet together anymore, and the first friendship group Naoto ever had, split apart forever. She dreamed about it too, across six days’ worth of sleepless nights, until it was finally the day of the ski trip.

They rode their bikes to the mountain, chatting and bickering as usual, Teddie leading the conversations with his comments on the beauty of the natural world interspersed with perverted comments about the girls. Naoto couldn’t stay angry at him for providing distraction. She was glad they were all here. Still, it felt like Chie had been coerced into coming, since her absence would’ve raised more questions than anything else. If Naoto didn’t know better, she could pretend a cloud of dread wasn’t hanging over their heads.

Naoto was too pre-occupied to notice their surroundings, even once they were at the slopes. She craved a moment alone with them, but with all Teddie and Rise’s over-enthused chatter, she might never get it. And even if she managed to get one, she still had no confidence that anything she’d say would repair the growing rifts between them. If their estrangement went on any longer, the others would catch on.

‘You seem out of it today, Naoto-kun. You okay?’

Naoto thanked Rise for her concern, and reassured her that she’d be better with some mountain air.

Soon enough, Naoto’s preoccupation shifted from Chie to survival on the mountainside. The more experienced skiers (Yu and Rise) managed to enjoy themselves against the mediocre (Yukiko and Naoto) and the outright bad (Teddie and Kanji). Yosuke and Chie were barely competent and roughly of the same skill level, but they silently and mutually opted to maintain distance from the other. Naoto took her chance to catch up to Chie, who was having a hard enough time staying on her feet.

‘Chie-senpai, I’m really sorry.’ Naoto whispered into Chie’s ear as she sidled up alongside. She couldn’t see into Chie’s goggles, but she could imagine the rolling eyes behind them.

‘I didn’t plan for him to come the same time you did. I attempted to dismiss him, but you arrived earlier than expected-'

‘How about an apology?’

Yu turned behind to see what the girls were hissing about. ‘Everything alright?’

‘Keep your eyes in front of you!’ Chie yelled back, brandishing her ski pole close enough to brush his goggles. With a soft laugh, he complied.

Naoto gritted her teeth. After all that talk of reconciliation, all she’d achieved was damaging her friendship with Chie.

‘I’m sorry, Chie-senpai. That day at my apartment…Yosuke-senpai had only just arrived before you did, mumbling something about a favour he wanted. When you called, he insisted that you not see him, and I acquiesced. I initially wasn’t aware of why he was so anxious to hide from you in particular, until you explained your fears over the Namatame incident. It was a panicked decision I made on the spot. On reflection, I did the wrong thing, and I apologise. I ought to have trusted you more, given what we’ve been through together.’ Naoto kept her voice low over the rasping of their skis. ‘Please believe me, he came of his own volition. I didn’t organise any sort of set-up.’

Naoto figured that she’d said enough. She continued skiing alongside Chie, waiting for her answer, but Chie made no effort to run away. Eventually, she sighed. ‘I can’t stay mad at you, Naoto-kun. And I know you weren’t trying to hurt either of us. I just wished you trusted me more.’

‘In other circumstances, if I’d known why Yosuke wanted to see me…I would’ve. To be honest, I was concerned over his behaviour regarding Namatame as well, but I didn’t think anyone else cared. I’m glad you picked up on it. I felt less alone.’ Naoto laughed. For the first time in days, her heart felt lighter. She was filled with the urge to push a little harder on the skis, and speed away down the slopes at full tilt. She was even enjoying the slopes now. ‘So thank you, Chie-senpai.’

Chie nodded and glanced behind her to where Yosuke was. ‘Apology accepted. As for Yosuke…give me time, alright? I need to think about how I’m gonna say it again.’

A vision crept into Naoto’s head, one plucked directly from her nightmares, her worst-case hypothetical that infested her nightmares and taunted her in the moments before she drifted off to sleep. The one where Yu comforted a sobbing Yosuke, while Chie and Yukiko hurled insults at him while Naoto helplessly looked on, and the whole Investigation Team casting blame at each other over events that happened ages ago. The first friendship group Naoto ever had would be split forever, all because of her own cowardice. For the sake of her own sanity, Naoto couldn’t wait for Chie to muster up some courage again.

Chie half-drifted, half-wobbled away from Naoto. Alone, Naoto slowed down to better contemplate her next move as the group continued down the slopes. With all the snow kicking up, and the other skiers around them, it was hard for Naoto to see. But she could see Chie speed up to get in front of Yosuke, without either of them noticing. Naoto could also see that Yosuke was trailing her slightly, a few metres behind. If he was to fall somehow…

Naoto shook her head. A crazy thought, even for her. Far more reckless than when she willingly allowed herself to be dragged into the Midnight Channel.

_You can’t do this. You’ll injure them, or worse._

Teddie’s crying face flashed in her mind again.

Pushing particularly hard on the snow with her poles, Naoto took off after her estranged teammates. In seconds, she’d made up the lost ground on Yosuke, and was gaining more. Chie’s oversized coat was flapping in the wind ahead of him. Apparently, he still hadn’t noticed who was in front of him.

_This is your chance. Do it now!_

Naoto apologised to both of them in her head.

‘It’ll be worth it. I hope.’

She leaned forward, and prodded the back of Yosuke’s knee with her pole.

 

* * *

 

The last thing Chie felt before she lost control was something smacking into her back, followed by the wind screaming. Wind whipped the snow into Chie’s goggles, and she couldn’t see anything except for white canvas. She felt the branches and bushes slashing against her coat and yanking her beanie off her head. The smooth movement of her skis was interrupted by jagged undergrowth and slush. Her ski poles were yanked from her grasp by unseen forces, and she flailed her arms, snapping more branches and dashing her arms against trees and rocks. With a final bounce, her skis ramped off a fallen log and she sailed through the air before landing on her behind, sliding downhill feet first. Regaining control of her arms, she pulled the goggles off her forehead, only to see another log waiting for her amidst the tangles of bushes at the bottom of the hill. Bending her knees, she braced for impact. But the snow built up around her legs, forming a cushion to soften the blow. She was slow enough to avoid injuring herself, but the momentum forced her to somersault over the log, and she tumbled downhill. Only after coming to a complete stop did she realise that she was screaming. Panting for breath, she looked up the hill.

‘Anything else?’

There was a faint wailing in her ears. At the top of the hill, another figure similarly disarmed of his ski poles, and falling with less grace than Chie, sailed off the top of the hill and dropped through the air. He landed face-first on the slope and slid head-first towards Chie’s feet.

‘I’m dead,’ the figure panted upon arrival. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean it. I regret everything! But I tried real hard, you know? I’m dead.’

‘You’re not dead.’ Chie bent down and lifted the goggles off Yosuke’s face. ‘You realise you could’ve killed me too, you careless idiot? Learn to ski before you organise these trips!’

Yosuke froze when he saw who it was. His face drooped in apprehension. ‘Are the others okay?’

‘I can’t see them from here. How far did we fall?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine. I remember being literally blind for a whole minute while falling.’

‘Only a minute, huh?’ Chie patted her pockets for her phone before remembering they’d all left their devices in the cabin.

‘Maybe we should wait for the others.’

‘That’ll take too long!’ Chie checked her thick watch, built to withstand conditions like these. ‘The sun sets early in winter, so it’ll be dark soon. We need to get to shelter before night time and the wolves come out.’

‘W-wolves?’

Without answering, Chie kicked off her ruined skis and leapt up the slope. She managed a couple of steps up the steep slope, but gravity won out. She grabbed a fistful of powdery snow which refused her grip on the ice, and she slid back down to the foot of the hill.

They ditched the remnants of their ruined skis to climb the steep slope, taking several tumbles down the hill in the ensuing attempts. Eventually, they decided to walk around the hill and search for a more navigable part of the hill. After a few minutes of walking, the snow was as imposing as ever.

‘We can climb this!’ Yosuke would say.

They’d make a few failed attempts.

‘Nah. Move on.’

That cycle was the extent of their conversation for a while. Otherwise, all Chie could think about was what to say to Yosuke. Out of all the people she was stuck with, it had to be him. Given his silence, he was surely as lost for words as she was, so she alternately sulked at his inability to talk and concentrated finding a way back to their cabin. The monotony of silence and repeated phrases was broken by:

‘It’s getting dark,’ Yosuke mumbled. He pointed towards the red sun.

Chie, already in a bad mood, wasn’t interested in being entertained. ‘Fantastic! It’s gonna get even more freezing, and I’m stuck out in the cold with you!’

Yosuke didn’t protest, opting to collapse onto the snow. Placing his hands behind his back, he propped himself into a sitting position and stared out at the sunset. Chie clicked her tongue, tempted to kick him over and stomp on him until he got his lazy ass back up. He hunched over his knees, and the sight was so pathetic that Chie instead followed suit, slumping onto the ground behind him to watch the sun creep over the horizon.

She thought the sun was a little larger than normal, and the horizon higher up in her field of vision, but it must’ve been her imagination. The sun was too big, and humans too small to notice changes like that. But the mountains and the downward slope of the tree line made her feel higher compared to the rest of the world, if only so slightly.

‘It’s a nice sun,’ Yosuke remarked, without turning around.

‘I suppose it makes up for the mess you’ve gotten us into now.’

‘I’m glad I can look out at this with you.’

Chie opened her mouth, a retort of _well, I don’t_ forming in her throat.

‘When I first got to Inaba, I didn’t care about the town, or the people who lived there. I never even wanted friends from Inaba. I could get by without ‘em. A few years in school, and then I’d graduate. Go back to the city.’

Chie made a show of squinting at the sun, still not looking at Yosuke.

‘Watching the sunset from the mountains with friends from Inaba. It isn’t something I thought would ever happen. And now, I’m here. Watching this beautiful sky with you. Why wouldn’t I want this?’ He raised both gloved palms to the sky, as if reaching out to touch the sun.

‘Yosuke?’ Chie tried to wriggle in front of him to see his face, but he turned away.

‘I’m sorry, Chie.’

She grabbed his freezing face and forced him to face her. He was crying.

‘If I killed Namatame, I couldn’t enjoy this. I couldn’t face you or anyone ever again. I wouldn’t be able to appreciate anything knowing that I’d sent someone to die in the TV world. I wouldn’t even be able to think about going on a ski trip with the people who matter most to me.’

‘Yosuke…’

‘I’m glad you came with us. Despite everything, I’m glad you’re here now, and we’re watching the sun, and everyone else is alive and-’ His voice cracked, but he wasn’t crying anymore. Or maybe the tears had crystallised into those trails on his face and she couldn’t see through the snowflakes in her own eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I mean it this time.’

Chie wrapped her arms around him, feeling his chin trembling on her shoulder from the cold.

‘Forgiving is what friends are for.’

 

* * *

 

The sun disappeared over the horizon, encasing the mountainside in darkness. Chie’s eyes still hurt, a result of the last half-hour spent staring into the red light of the sun and the rays reflecting off the snow.

‘We’ll have to build a shelter for the night, I reckon.’

‘Maybe we should have done that earlier instead of burning our eyeballs in the sun, huh?’ Chie punched Yosuke in the shoulder. It still hurt, despite his padded jacket.

‘Don’t blame me all the time!’

A shout cut through the night air.

‘W-what’s that?’

‘Ghosts? Wolves?’

‘G-ghosts? Don’t!’ Chie covered her ears. But she could hear the noise again. It was a familiar voice.

‘Rise-chan?’

Brown pigtails popped into her vision from atop the slope. ‘I found them, guys!’

A whole crowd of people was behind her. Of course the idol would have no trouble rounding up a group of volunteers to help out with her search. In the darkness, Chie could make out the numerous ropes and blankets hefted onto the rescue crew's shoulders.

Chie collapsed onto her knees again. She heard Yosuke do the same behind her. She hadn’t realised how tired she was.


	5. Starting Today and Tomorrow's Anew

‘You’re here early, Yosuke.’

‘I work here.’

Chie dumped her sports bag on the table where the Investigation Team had held so many meetings. She took in her new surroundings; the awnings had changed from green and white to sunflower yellow, and the chairs were even more battle-worn after months of glaring sun, pelting rain, and corrosive fog. But everything else in their headquarters was as she remembered when they first founded it.

‘It’ll be good to see everyone here again,’ Yosuke yawned, stretching his arms. ‘How long has it been since we saw Rise-chan and Naoto and Yu come back at the same time? I can barely remember the last time we were all here together.’

‘I can barely remember the last time we were all together without you crying in the middle of it. Remember when Yu returned to Yokohama?’

‘No.’

‘“Waaaahhh, don’t leave me partner!”’ Chie pawed at the air in an imitation of Yosuke grabbing Yu’s jacket. ‘And before that, on the ski trip where you wouldn’t stop apologising to all of us about how you almost killed Namatame? You barged into Yukiko during her bath so you could keep apolo-’

‘Please don’t remind me of that! I was really sorry, alright?’

‘I know, I know.’ Chie shrugged. Silence grew between them before Chie broke it. ‘You know, it was kinda out of the blue for you to be saying sorry about that. I mean, at first, I didn’t think you even cared that you wanted to kill Namatame. It made you kinda hard to approach. I felt even worse after I thought you and Naoto set me up.’

This was the first time they’d discussed it since the ski trip. Yosuke felt anxious just remembering.

‘There wasn’t a set-up, I swear Naoto had no idea what happened.’ Yosuke protested, his voice high-pitched, words spilling out of his mouth in a rapid stream. ‘That day you went to her apartment…it was a coincidence that we were there at the same time.’

‘Yeah, she told me that she never intended to trick us. The only reason I went to Naoto-kun’s was because Yu was too sick to see anyone, and the others didn’t look like they remembered what happened in the hospital. Except for Naoto-kun, and since she’s a detective, I thought she might have picked up on…’ Chie’s voice tailed off as she replayed Yosuke’s last few sentences in her head. ‘Wait. If you weren’t there to set me up, why were you in Naoto-kun’s apartment?’

Yosuke’s eyes widened as Chie’s narrowed.

‘Obviously to have Naoto…’ He swallowed, but it was too late for take-backs. ‘Spy on you.’

‘What? How could she? How could you? Why how dare you betray me like that! Sending a friend to spy on another friend? You’re the worst, Hanamura!’ She pushed her back off the table on to Yosuke and leapt over it, swinging her leg towards his face.

Yosuke ducked behind Chie’s bag, using it as a shield to deflect the blow. The force of her kick still sent him stumbling back.

‘Listen, okay?’ he protested, muffled by the bag. ‘I was at her apartment you were avoiding me, and I wanted her to find out why!’ She lunged at him again, and he dropped her bag to sidestep. ‘Chie-cha-’

‘Hi-yah!’

Yosuke brought his arms up to protect his head and Chie’s other leg crashed into his forearms. The impact hurt, and he felt his bones shudder under the impact.

‘She didn’t want to spy on you anyway!’ he managed to squeak as he fell onto his backside, arms wrapped around his head to shield from the next kick. He braced himself.

The kick didn’t come. Yosuke opened one eye to peek through the gap in his makeshift shield, and was greeted with Chie’s leg hovering centimetres from his face. Her scowl sent another bolt of fear up his back before she relaxed and stomped over to her bag, smacking the dust off it with unnecessary force. Yosuke got back to his feet, sheepishly raising a hand at the other patrons. An old man was watching them from a table further away. He shook his head and turned back to his coffee. Another of them had his cell phone out, taking photos of him.

‘Idiot!’ Yosuke was too distracted by the onlookers to notice Chie tossing her bag at him again. This time, he didn’t catch the bag which knocked the wind out of his chest. ‘Come to me first next time you’re worried about something.’

‘Take your own advice,’ he spluttered, catching his breath.

‘Yeah! Take your own advice, Chie-chan! Whatever it was! I don’t know.’

Teddie, sans suit, had finished his shift. He skipped over to them, an inquisitive look on his face. ‘What are you two talking about?’

Chie and Yosuke shared a glance. In the other’s eyes was a mutual agreement. There was no need to mention the awkwardness, the fear and estrangement ever again.

‘Telling Chie to trust her friends more. How’s work, Ted?’

 

* * *

 

Naoto checked her watch. Ten minutes until they reached Inaba. Her compartment shuddered, spilling the sheet of paper in her lap onto the floor. Another reminder that the train was out of the well-maintained rails in the metro area and into the neglected parts of Japan.

Naoto picked up the fallen sheet with a sigh.

_Hanamura Yosuke._

She looked over her messy annotations in the margins of the report, twirling a pen in her right hand. Dates and half-formed thoughts made in the months following the ski trip littered the page. At this point though, Naoto didn’t think she’d need to update it again. Her eyes fell to the bottom of the page.

_Dec 5: Further observation needed._

She scribbled out the phrase. Then she scrunched up the paper, and opened the window to toss the ruined sheet outside.


End file.
